Licensed to Eww

"I'm not crazy, you're the one that's crazy."

Brought to you by Black Velvet Flag's cover of

"Institutionalized" recorded at CBGB's (1994).

Why can't everything I like align properly? But seriously. I have a problem when I try to update my outer wardrobe as much as I do what's underneath. Certain *ahem* things just get in the way. I'm not even talking about my boobs--they're doing everything right. The problem can come right down to the designs on a garment which would look totally fine on someone with a smaller sized chest.

My adoring love for Yellow witnessed in the likes of Cleo George, Lucy and Freya Sunset Boulevard makes me happy. Even in the midst of Winter I want to cover myself with the sunshine color.

Recently I found myself at the Brooklyn Industries store on Broadway and after a quick stroll spotted a pretty yellow sweater to try on ...which ended in hexagonal horror.

This beautifully designed sweater just couldn't be more intentionally booby if it tried. Had the pattern been set a little up or down it could have worked on more curvy women including myself. If the nice little pair of of circular patterns weren't dead set right on the bust line I think it could have maybe been worn and loved. Oh, how those dreams went starburst.

How it looked with a 30G bra underneath:

I'm not alone on this either. The solo online review (at current time of writing this post) says it all from a supposed "34B" wearing a size Small. I reckon she's much closer to my size because I'm also wearing a Small in the photos above.

While I disagree with "Dori" on the color (it's basically Mustard Yellow) we are both in the same boat when it comes everything else.


It's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to unwearable fashion that drives me crazy and registers on
my no fly list.

Some of the other offensive culprits? Handbags with pairs of awful, gaudy pockets reminiscent of your own handbags.

Awful East-West pointing button-nipples.

Do I really need four nipples? -- This dress would've
done well to have left off the extra buttons because
the pockets are small enough to be dainty.

And let's remember some of the worst offenders of them all: pants butt pockets with adornments too unbelievable they hurt mine eyes! Now, I love a good denim metal button and even find men's vertical button fly perfectly acceptable. When you place a pair on back pockets it's far too nipplesque and ruins an otherwise good pair of dungarees (my mom would be so proud to hear my use of that word).

Leave your pocketful of taste at the door:
True Religion's "Signature Embroidery".

Up close & way too personal: Yes, I'll have
another pair of breasts on my buttocks.

I'm well aware we live in a breast-obsessed society but I just believe fashion goes too far sometimes into really icky territory. Check out my new Pinterest Boards dedicated to this topic:

Awful Fashion "Boobs"

Fashion Boobs - Handbags & it's counterpart Handbag Do's

What are some of the most irritating faux-bras in your opinion?

On Sale Now at Zulily.com

It's lunchtime and there are some great deals on Zulily right now.

Curvy Kate: Now through Sunday 8/11, 6:00am.

Plenty of sexy and practical Curvy Kate styles in 28 and 30 backs, many available up to K-cup but act quick because they will go fast! Love the Lottie navy/black combo. As of 12:15pm EDT they have every 28 in D-K cup and the majority of 30-backs as well.

http://www.zulily.com/e/curvy-kate-53483.html

Cake Lingerie: Now through Saturday 8/10, 6:00am.

Save room for some dessert! There are some of Cake Lingerie's most stylish and adorable nursing bras available. The "Shortbread" pictured above is one of my all-time favorites: YUM!!! With the generous set of 6-hooks I find the 32-bands definitely fitting for my 29" ribcage. Just remember to appropriate the cups. For instance, I would normally take a 30g but a 32ff would work after upping the band. I've even found the cups slightly generous and own 32f bras from Cake.

http://www.zulily.com/e/cake-lingerie-56427.html

Happy National Underwear Day, nay Week!

Yesterday was "National Underwear Day" 2013 and Freshpair.com threw a celebration in Times Square. Although I missed the events in-person I can tell you that I view it kind of like having a weekday birthday: You get to celebrate underwear all week!!! At least that's how it is here in the Bra-cave headquarters.

The midtown display of exhibitionism was an attempt on breaking the current Guinness World Record of a public group appearing in their underwear. Reports say 779 people were noted while the record holders from 2011 in Salt Lake City, Utah number at 2,270, according to this The Huffington Post article. I think it's a pretty great first attempt and who knows what may happen next year!

This actually had me wondering what other types of lingerie records have been set out there when I stumbled upon "Most bras worn and removed in one minute". A lady named Mia Magma from Germany set this record just last July 17, 2012.

It's a shame the website cannot tell me what the record "Most sizes of bras commercially available" entails as the link is broken. Onward, Google...

As for Mia, I wonder what size and styles she wore!


Hey, we see the fabulous ladies of Curvy Kate!  

xBustsX

I Heart Juna

In all her glory: I really love this bra!

People have been bicycling in this city forever but its biking culture hasn't been as fully mainstreamed as it is in many European countries ...like hello, Amsterdam! As of this Spring, bike lanes and the albeit mostly Manhattan-centric Citibike phenomenon (and, well, those who can bike over connecting bridges in the 45-minute ride limit) have been relatively embraced by many seeking another suitable transportation alternative to the MTA.

So something that's been around for a while is now being appreciated and it's only getting better.

So why am I talking about bikes? Because Juna's story is similar.

Juna herself as a shape has been around for quite some time in different beautiful palettes and pattern combinations over the seasons. When she debuted as a line of continuity colors in most recent years (was it really only 2011?) I was already a fan of her previous sister styles yet it took a little time to get acquainted with her simple shapely self.

In fact the earliest versions seem to have debuted by Panache brand, Masquerade. English Rose (SS09) and Inca (SS10) are both lighter color half cup bras and there may be versions dating farther back that I've yet to set my gaze upon. Inca most closely resembles Juna as we know her today. She is a pretty pinkish-coral combination of oval swirls almost reminiscent of small pieces of maki sushi or decadent tea biscuits all trimmed with tiny dotted, floral embroidered cups.

Masquerade "Inca" SS10

My lingerie drawer has been blessed with an explosion of color in many of her offerings. I am lucky to own each version of Sadie including her longline, Darcy, and arguably my favorite: Rihanna! Still there are lots more I keep an eye out for every day: Poppy, Ellie, Rita, Martha, and Cara from the most current SS13 season shall be mine soon!

The playful patterns really drew me in even before I discovered the great fit. I'd thought I could only get an adorable, well fitting half cup from Freya but now I had choice! I was a proud wearer of a Monet while still believing my size range was a proper 30ff and consequently wore the 30g half cups for the extra room! But since the style is very specific they weren't my everyday go-to bras. So all the other 30ff bras I wore really helped shift the renegade breast tissue back to its rightful place and a year later I ended up in a true 30g, which meant I really needed a 30gg in most half cups, sizing me out of those beauties! Enter Cleo half cups reaching a bit higher in both sizes and the height of the cups for a best fit. The earliest variation I own is the purple tartan Sadie in a 32g. It's the same cup volume as a 30gg but the particular season only ran 30-38 D-G. Yes, I settled on a bra I started on the final set of hooks. And oh was she worth it (still is).

Thing is that now starting with AW13 Freya is taking back my love by expanding the half cup ranges up to H cups. Now that they have the structural elements to construct even larger sizes I can see my drawer coming close to overflowing in the near future. Oh yes, I will choose to see the half cups as full-filling. No rivalries here: I'm a brand loyalist in that I love everyone equally who makes clothes that love my body. It's a celebration of women everywhere. Obviously some consumers might see the multitude of brands as competition for your devotion but I choose to see it has healthy competition. If we can have choice from an array of incredibly talented designers it can only be a wonderful thing. We're all better off for having each and every one of them.

I'm still hunting down some more of my precious Juna sisters and extremely excited by Spring 2014's lime green, yes even with the pink trim, Darcy.

Stay tuned for more half cup love.

SS14 Cleo "Darcy" in Flamingo Print

xBustsX

A personal note

So there's this perfect www.someecards.com card I stumbled across earlier this week (unfortunately it's not this one above). It was going to be perfectly appropriate for this post alas, it has disappeared from my memory (and cache it looks like, too). It simply makes a point about having the intent to do something but instead of making it a reality you think about it for so long that you actually forget it's still just living in your head.

That's been this blog and my life for the past umpteenth months. When I originally started this blog I was incredibly excited to have garnered so much knowledge about the intimate world of proper fitted lingerie and thought I was finally ready enough to make some proclamations of my own in the blogosphere. Life had some interesting events for me as it turns out. I have spent the former part of 2013 moving households (no small feat in New York City I assure you!!!), losing a great job I liked being a part of, working here and there to make ends meet which means all my time has been spent on keeping afloat. This has meant no time for participation in the Wonderful Webby World of Boobs which also has translated to not enough funds to buy new bras in order to write reviews. I've also got to catch up on months upon months of fellow busty bloggers around the net. All pending, of course. This post is kind of a whip to snap myself back into it and a confessional of sorts as well.

From the beginning I had promised myself to keep as professional (and omit my everyday identity) as much as possible so that I not only take a stand for bigger busts but to keep everything really relevant to the issues at hand. I would never want to talk about my cats, worklife, boyfriend, etc. at needless length if those topics had zero to do with actual bus(t)iness. So here I am laying it out on the table, doing something I hoped never to really do. Truth is that I couldn't imagine my life without having travelled down this path...

Of course aside from a few comments I'm not even sure anyone reads this, although I shouldn't really mind anyway.

And I'm not one to want to make excuses so I'm kinda forcing myself back to my passion here, putting much less pressure on myself to draft perfect posts (I'm not formally trained in the writing arts but hold myself to an incredibly high standard in all the work I do.) After all, I have fit many friends and some family in this time which means I'm not stopping there, so why should I here!

Oh, and rest assured when I find it the image above will be rightfully replaced.